Breakfast With the Counselors

On September 22, the Nipmuc School Counseling Center held our first “Breakfast with the Counselors” with the parents of freshmen students. It was a great success! Not only did we enjoy some delicious muffins, but we also enjoyed great conversation. The Breakfast with the Counselors series is a great opportunity for parents to connect with their students’ counselor and to discuss some of the joys and challenges of parenting a student in high school. Here are some highlights from the discussion during the breakfast…

·         Keep communication open
Even a simple question such as “How was your day?” can result in a one word response from your teenager. Teenagers are striving for independence and are naturally turning to peer relationships for social interaction, advice and connection.  It’s very easy for teenagers to feel as though their parents are pushing for information or being intrusive in their lives. Although it is sometimes hard to connect and talk to your high schooler, finding your own way to communicate with each other is key to keeping a close relationship. Strategies that may help with keeping communication lines open include asking open ended questions, talking about your own day,  offering advice or problem-solving suggestions sparingly while validating their experiences will show them you’re interested in what they’re saying, but not hungry for information or wanting to take charge.

·         Create meaningful time with your teen

 Learning about their interests and their passions can help strengthen your relationship with them. Find a TV show you both like or let them plug their IPOD into the car radio so you can rock out to some songs together. These little moments are meaningful to them, even if they don’t show it!

·         Your kids want to please you!

Generally speaking, kids want to please their parents.  When mistakes and disappointments happen in high school, kids are managing not only their responses to the situation, but they are worried about their parents’ response as well.  As parents, we can model how you can grow from these setbacks so students recognize failures and challenges are not the end of the world.

·         Collaborative Problem-solving

The adolescent brain goes through a tremendous amount of development during the high school years. Cognitive skills and capacities often develop in fits and the last part of the teen brain to develop is the pre-frontal cortex; the part of the brain responsible for planning, prioritizing and other executive functions. The good news is that the neural connections responsible for these activities can be strengthened by active use. Parents can support this process by staying calm, listening and when collaborating on problem solving, ask questions to stimulate your teens decision-making and critical thinking skills.  Telling your student the “right” decision will often go in one ear and out the other, so support them to work through decisions and develop these skills independently

·         Encourage your student to get involved

Engagement in school or community activities offers opportunities to build competence, connections with others as well as a variety of college and career readiness skills.  There are many opportunities to join such activities throughout the year. Students can learn about different opportunities at the Nipmuc High School through their counselors and peers or they can stop by Mrs. Hennessey’s office, our Career and Community Coordinator, to see what opportunities are available outside of school.

These are just a few of the discussion points from the workshop on September 22. Please do not hesitate to contact your students’ counselor at the Nipmuc School Counseling Office, with any additional questions or concerns.