The Second Arrow

The Second Arrow

I have recently completed my graduate program at Assumption College; which include oral exams; requisite course work and a 900 hour practicum at Nipmuc Regional High School.  At probably the most opportune moment in the universe I was able to attend a workshop hosted by Assumption College on mindfulness, self-compassion, and loving kindness. With all of these expectations my anxiety levels were also through the roof and this workshop seemed to be exactly what I needed. The workshop got me thinking, how does this relate to high school, to our students, and everyday life?

One presenter mentioned a Native American metaphor that really resonated with me. The metaphor states that there are two arrows associated with a wound, the first creates the physical wound and initial pain, but the second is all the things that run through our mind once we are wounded (i.e. emotional pain and suffering). We cannot avoid the first arrow; but we can avoid the second arrow. What are the consequences of the second arrow? What can we do about that second arrow?

Every day we see the impact of the second arrow. High school students (and graduate students!) struggle to meet expectations, keep grades up, navigate friendships and relationships, and eventually plan their futures. The stress, anxiety and worry that can accompany these challenges offer opportunities for that second arrow.  When we are stressed, worried and overwhelmed we are not our best selves, and we are unable to manage the demands of our school and social worlds effectively.  So where do we begin to make the change? Well, the only logical place to start is within each of us.

Each and every one of us has the power to heal our own wounds of the second arrow. When we begin to address our own second arrows, the world around us begins to change. We can co-create a climate of acceptance, collaboration and connectedness rather than judgment and anxiety.  The research surrounding the effects of mindfulness, meditation and general self-care show amazing benefits on stress and anxiety; which in general defines most high school students (and graduate students!). Mindfulness asks us to be present in each moment, experiencing the present moment - my thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, with curiosity and without judgment.  Ask yourself: What are you sensing? What are you feeling? What are you thinking? Focus on each aspect of the moment and bring yourself back to your center.

Slowing down and really experiencing the world around us not only relieves our own anxiety, but it effects those we come into contact with every day, our school community. As a whole we are always in a rush and miss the world around us. We may even contribute to our own wounds from the second arrow. In order to heal our second arrow we must slow down and be mindful of the amazing world around us. Although in life it is inevitable that we will experience pain, stress and anxiety we can use mindfulness practices in order to heal that wound quicker. Try beginning each morning with a meditation, run through a mindfulness exercise at a time of great stress, try some deep breathing exercises and see how quickly you are reminded to be calm.

Try some meditation and mindfulness techniques today, and see how your day turns around!

Example:

Mindfulness in Daily Life

Mindfulness can be practice every moment of our day- while you brush your teeth, while you walk from the parking lot to school, when you eat your breakfast, or when you answer your phone. Pick one activity and see if you can do it mindfully, paying attention to what you are experiencing. You might want to choose an activity that occurs early in your day, to help you remember to be mindful before getting overwhelmed with the daily tasks of life. As you’re engaging in your mindful activity- let’s say you choose the walk from the parking lot to school-bring awareness to your actual experience in the present moment.

Even in our often pressured and distracted daily lives, it’s possible to have mindful moments. We can momentarily disengage from our activities by taking a long, conscious breath, gathering our attention and then asking ourselves:

-          What am I sensing in my body right now?

-          What am I feeling emotionally?

-          What am I thinking?

-          What is the most vivid and alive in my awareness?

We don’t even have to be calm to have some mindful awareness, such as when you discover: “I am really angry right now”. We are all capable of being mindful, but in the midst of our hectic lives we must choose to slow down and notice-even for just a moment- what is happening to us right here and right now.